The Targets of Our Anger

What makes you angry?

Do you ever feel anger and wonder where it came from?

Sometimes I've noticed that anger appears out of scale with the thing that seemed to trigger it. Maybe it's an accumulation of aggravations. Maybe it's a sustained patience that has become unsustainable. Maybe it's a lifetime of little disappointments. The anger boils, flairs, and erupts. At that point it can be highly unhealthy.

We lash out. We shout. We blame. We break things. Humans can be so sloppy sometimes. We lose our center and our balance lists like a ship in a storm. Our storm of anger rocks our world.

Maybe you haven't experienced this, and if not, maybe you've seen it in other people. It can scare.

Where the anger heads though isn't always where it belongs. Fall out occurs. Innocent feelings and people are hurt.

The targets of our anger are seldom the cause of our anger.

We punish the wrong people. We overreact to minor disagreements propelled by the build up of restraint.

What's the answer?  What do you do to defuse your anger? How do you manage your center?

Without pretending to know THE answer, I would say that some of it is preventing the build-up. Staying true to your values. Opposing unfairness in the moment, instead of tolerating. Staying assertive so that aggression seldom become necessary.

In other words, staying centered. Staying mindful of our circumstances and speaking and acting with courage when courage is needed. For if we suppress or deny our courage, our anger takes control.

-- Douglas Brent Smith