Create Agreements First

The more we disagree on a problem the more our behaviors begin to resemble each other's. Why not take this as an invitation to start creating agreements?

-- doug smith

What if Your Solution Is a Problem?

It's discomforting to realize when our solution is someone else's problem - but their problem remains our problem until our solutions agree.

-- doug smith

Conceive and Then Believe

Conceiving a problem solution is about half as critical as convincing ourselves that the solution will work.

Until we are convinced, how will the solution ever work?

How do we become convinced? By carefully conceiving of the best possible solution.

Centered problem solvers take the time to get beyond the surface problem to the heart of the goal.

-- doug smith

Ending Destruction

How do we end a destructive player's destruction without destroying the play is the key problem embedded in diplomacy, crime, and war.

Impossible to solve? Then we manage. Impossible to manage? Then it must be solved.

-- doug smith

Be Careful of Paradox Attachment

You can embrace a paradox without making it your pet.

Observe. Learn. Release. Grow.

-- doug smith

Manage, or Solve Rather Than Ignore

We can't afford to avoid problems just because they're hard.

-- doug smith

Centered Problem Solvers Detach

Do problems spark an emotional reaction in you? Sometimes, they do in me. Then guess what -- I've got the problem AND the emotional reaction. That does not help and it does not solve the problem.

Attaching yourself to a problem just makes it bigger.

Step back, detach, depersonalize, and breathe. That problem is not you after all. That problem is either manageable or solvable. Find out which and get started.

-- doug smith

Room to Grown

I suppose that if a problem is easy to solve that it isn't even a problem. Just solve it and be done with it. A problem like that is more like a decision than a problem.

We all have bigger problems than that, though. We all struggle at times to solve what feels like an unsolvable problems. Some problems truly can't be solved, and must then be managed. How can we tell the difference?

We need to ponder the possibilities. We need to change the problem into a goal and figure out how to bring that about. The difficulty is like a framework for building something we haven't thought of before. The problem stands there, a form waiting to redirect our notions of what is possible.

Tough or not, solvable or not, a problem creates a space for traction.

A problem you can't solve is give you room to grow.

Grow.

-- doug smith